The IdioTs in IT

Work has been immensely frustrating these last two days.

We've had a virus infection, as a result of which they've shut down the computer network.

Result: I only have the use of my own machine: no email, no access to any commonly held data.

In terms of work, we're at a standstill, and I've come home early both days.

On a happier note, the meal was fine, although La D (in a foul mood) banned me from future kitchen adventures on the grounds of a couple of trivial sins. That'll all be forgotten next time she fancies a risotto, I'm sure.

Cooking tonight

I've been asked to star as guest chef in the home kitchen.

I shall of course do my 'signature dish', ie risotto, which La Duchesa particularly enjoys.

Of course, the thing I really enjoy about cooking is that I drink a large quantity of wine while doing it...

A follower: at last!

Like Jesus Christ with John the Baptist (is this quite correct ? :Ed), I have my first follower-and such a good one (the lady who inspired me to blog in the first place). Must mind the old Ps and Qs now.

Anyway, just thought I'd mention a couple of wrongly heard song lyrics which are (IMHO) as good as or better than the original.

There's

"'Scuse me while I kiss the sky" (Jimi Hendrix) which can easily be heard as "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy": surely a line just as redolent of the hedonism of the 60s as the 'real' one.

Also

"Going down the old mine with a transistor radio" (Van Morrison) which I genuinely thought for years was actually "Gunning down the old man with a transistor radio": which of us hasn't done that in their imagination?

Something a bit saucy

As I may have mentioned before, nobody ever reads this.

I have the theory that the only reason someone picks up on a blog is if there's something ABS on it.

So if I write

"Put out some food for our chickens today. Trouble is, the most enormous cock came along and ate all the food I'd put out"

lots of people would probably pick up on it (Googling "our chickens", of course).

A compliment from Sharon (LOL)

Just to note that I eventually got a reply from Sharon re my 'zut' comment.

It was just three letters, but I think they were complimentary in the current vernacular: 'LOL'.

Metro madness/A zut by any other name

You know how, when you do something stupid, you sometimes just have to go through with it, rather than immediately admitting you're an idiot?

OK, maybe not...

Anyway, I was on the tube yesterday, and I fancied sitting down.

There were two young women sitting next to each other, and there seemed to be a bit of a gap between them.

So I said to one of them, 'Can I sit here?'

She looked a little surprised, but indicated that it was OK.

Of course, as soon as I lowered my buttocks to the seat, I realised my error. It wasn't really a seat; the two girls were occupying spaces for two. It was just that they were quite slim, and there was a gap.

But then I couldn't just reverse my descent, for fear of appearing stupid. Instead, I leaned forward, to minimise the space I was taking up, and sort of perched between them.

At the next stop, I got up (not looking back) and stood for the rest of the journey.

What a fool.

PS Sharon has taught me a new word: 'zut' (pronounced 'zoot', I think).

The conversation went

SS 'is just about to smoke a zut'

DS comment 'Is a zut what I think it is?'

SS 'yeh..y?'

DS comment 'coz I've never heard it called a zut B4'

So I'm almost using textspeak...

Facebook follies

I'm keen on family.

So I'm doing an extended study of all the people with my surname (that's Sheraton if you don't already know: as in furniture, and of course hotels)

My assumption is that we're all related somehow-if you go far enough back.

Anyway, one of the ways I do my research is to get in touch with other Sheratons via the Internet-and Facebook is one way of 'meeting' a lot of extended family.

One of my FBFs is a young lady of about 18, living in London, with an active social life: let's call her Sharon Sheraton.

On each person's Facebook page, they can put a little 'status' message: 'David is bored', 'David is just about to go to bed', etc.

Unexciting stuff, but Sharon uses hers to boast about the less legal side of her activities: 'Sharon is waiting for a delivery of ganja from her dealer', 'Sharon is just about to smoke an enormous spliff', and so on.

I'd tell her not to be so silly: who knows who's reading?: but I'd probably just get a load of abuse.

So I just carry on reading...